Subject: Binkomonster Orientation, and Some Requests
Date: January 30, 2008
From: Binkomonster CTO
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Hi there, incoming Vice President!
While I am aware that you won't be occupying your new office until some time in July of this year, I thought I would take some time to establish regular correspondence as a sort of 'pre-orientation' to office routine here at Binkomonster. The CEO and I are very happily awaiting your arrival, though I cannot say the same for all the other staff members. Booboo seems to be the only one that harbors any interest, while Binky, Wooby and Boingy? Meh. Not so much as an eyeblink. That's ok. We know that your arrival means a shakeup in their structure and integration into the clan, at which point, they'll be forced to make pleasantries at least. (Well, it better be pleasantries, we'll see to that!) There are a couple of office changes we need to make before you arrive. The big one is getting hardwood floors down in your new space. That happens in about 2 weeks. Which means back to living crazy for the CEO and I (dusting/mopping/moving things in/out, repainting, rewiring). No worries though. We are used to this insanity since we've been doing it the past, oh 6 or so months. The good thing is that your digs are the last remaining frontier of wall to wall carpet in the castle. So once that's gone, we really are done with redoing floors. Apart from of course doing things like rebuffing/refinishing. But those efforts aren't on our radar quite yet. The main things we'll have left after your office are the corporate bathrooms. Mine is going to get a mini-makeover to accommodate a better (let's just be honest, more posh) shower head. And we'll be adding a thermostatic control and hand-shower (yippee, another locale for washing uncooperative staff members with four legs)! And we have been talking about replacing the sink and fixtures, but we'll see. The bigger project is the CEO's bathroom. There is a vision, but it involves demolishing and removing everything. Down. To. The. Studs. And then getting tile. New fixtures. New toilet. New sink. All so that they are nice and 'VP-Friendly' for you. Today, because I'm feeling so tired (your jumping around in the confines of your current office isn't helping on that front), the vision for this new bathroom is rather hazy. But I know that somewhere in the next month or so I'll get my mojo back and get right on project-managing this crazy effort. And at the end of the day/month/year? You and the CEO will have a spanky-new, very cool place to wash your respective selves. And you'll both like it (I guarantee).
But enough of this talk of office spaces and bathrooms. For right now, just concentrate on your efforts to join us in July. There's a big, strange, wonderful world out there ready for you to take it on. And you're going to need a large amount of energy and enthusiasm to do so (though somehow, I don't doubt that you will have both of these in large quantities)!
Last but not least? Requests.
1. Please stop being so coy about your gender? It would make it easier on us here if we knew what side of the fence you are on, and at some point very soon, you aren't going to be able to squirm your way out of an answer.
2. Relax. That's another thing we've come to understand. That you have an incredible amount of energy. Cool. Save it. You'll need it later.
3. Oh and along the lines of number 2 above? A little less on the kicking and squirming overall? Please?
4. Enjoy the endless bowls of noodle soup. What can I say? I've happened to discover what my craving is after all.
That is all. For now. Cheerio impending V(I)P.
