Guest Editor: The Binkomonster CTO
Topic: How amazingly crapperiffic of a day yesterday was.
Of late, we continue to work on the project known as AMBM (Adding More Board Members), but with no results to report. And as much as the prospect of having clones running around has appeal, there are moments of doubt. Because I'm sure that there are going to be a higher frequency of days like yesterday.
A condensed version of just a few choice hours as follows:
CTO aims to clean up the sty (er, castle).
CTO takes recyclables downstairs because bag is overfull and needs to be emptied.
On the way down, wine bottle falls, DENTS the metal stairs and proceeds to explode in entry way.
Big mess. (yea, like the Devo song....)
CTO starts cleanup.
Staff member decides to check out the scene. (No, NO, NOOOO....erg)
Take cat upstairs, check paws and fur for glass bits, remove small pieces stuck to feet.
Back downstairs.
Scrub walls. Scrub floors. Hmmm. Still smelling like the local dive bar on Friday at 1am.
Scrub some more.
Work fires. Heat intensity building.
Get glass stuck in feet and hands, rinse off.
More scrubbing. Lug vacuum in and set to 'HIGH'.
Vacuum hose gets stuck with glass pieces.
Vacuum being less than cooperative (cord not working, futzing ensues).
Sigh deeply.
Continue chasing cat upstairs.
Stairs now festooned with ugly gashes.
After 4 seperate scrubs, 8 vacuum passes... finally clean!
Into garage, take paint out, back in the house to start to repaint new gashes.
Pain in the ass cat decides to come downstairs and 'visit'.
Steps on the 'no-NO zone', thus leaving a grey paw print trail all over entry-way.
Grab cat. Yell. Wipe cat feet off, put him on upper part of stairs with no paint, and attempt to 'shoo' away.
More wiping and scrubbing.
10 minutes later and we seem to be rid of the paw prints.
BooBoo comes back for round 2.
Again with the paint.
Again with the paw prints everywhere.
Stare at wall. Hold head in hands.
Sigh.
Fight urge to sob hysterically.
Work fires still raging. Heat intensity at 'skin melt' level.
Consider shooting self.
Wipe cat's paws. Again.
Paws and fur now grey.
Send cat back upstairs gently (resisting urge to fling cat up over railing).
More wiping. More scrubbing (fresh paw print tracks now in different pattern).
Upstairs (the ORIGINAL goal of cleanup today) still a mess.
Work fires now at 'nuclear immolation' level.
Entry way finally clean. Stairs 'repaired'. Cat distracted enough to leave floor alone.
Upstairs.
Wash dishes, put things away, just as last vacuuming completed...
Cat #4 (Boing) busy barfing everywhere.
Not content to leave mess just on one floor. Nope.
Down the stairs, spreading the barf as he goes.
Semi-digested cat breakfast. Now in little goops all over.
Booboo now very interested in this undigested slop.
CTO now context switching between keeping other cats away from the barf, and mopping up the mess as fast as she can.
Mopping, mopping and more mopping.
More vomit...
More mopping.
BIG sigh.
Stare at wall again.
Work fires? Still there. Can swear I hear voices screaming from laptop (or maybe those are the ones in my head?)
Wonder why I ever got up today.
I'm in hell, and I can't get out.
Send help, or Gin. Please.
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