The BubbleMonger. And the Terrorist Attack.

The hot weather is upon us, and with it, chaos. Mirroring some of the events happening on the world-stage this week (albeit in a *very* minor fashion), there have been terrorist strikes on the Binkomonster castle. Specifically, on the bathroom.
We give you "Exhibit A". And mind you, it was in much poorer shape when first found. Showing much more unrolled paper, and teethmarks, and shredding, we rushed this poor roll of tp into intensive care. It is now recovered, in stable condition and resting comfortably on the roll dispenser (though a bit lighter). There have also been minor raids made on trays of food left unattended on the Binko-Bistro countertops. The evening previous to the toilet paper incident, there were potato wedges found half eaten and deposited at the doorstep of the Binko-bedrooms. We've attempted to negotiate with the suspected terrorists (soft food and affection being the tokens offered), but it seems to be of no avail.
We believe that this is the primary suspect and ring-leader:
He goes by the moniker 'Osama Bin Boo-Boo', and it is further believed that he is the mastermind behind the Al-Cat-A group. While past history demonstrates senseless violence to plant and furniture matter here at Binkomonster, and random exercise of bodily fluids at innappropriate locations, there have been no kidnappings to date. Patrols are being instituted, along with high security and vigilance measures. If you see this suspect, please exercise extreme caution and alert the authorities at Binkomonster immediately.
In other, more happier news, we've upgraded the $10 Target bubble machine to a much more powerful solution. Powered by eeelektricity, and capable of generating ten THOUSAND bubbles a minute, it's a nice way to fill up the entire street with bubbles and make all the neighbors go nuts. Hee. Of course, this does lead us to consider adding a second generator (might as well go completely over the top), so we'll put it on the list and maybe by summer's end....
Oh and while on our quest for the biggest, most powerful bubble generator in the land, we stumbled upon this. And laughed our asses off.

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[Ginny Weasley]

WASHINGTON -- July 26 Resident Bush today condemned the terrorist attack on the Binkomonster Bathroom in San Francisco, California, calling it, "a terrible tragedy. Such a senseless waste of toilet paper. Rest assured, your government is doing everything it can to bring this evildoer to justice." Bush went on to announce that Condesleeza Rice will be making an appearance at the UN next week with aerial photos that clearly show that Boo-Boo is making PMD (poops of mass destruction), hidden somewhere under the famous FelinePines. Rice will attempt to convince the UN that a unilateral offensive is necessary to flush out the terrorist from his hiding spot. In addition, she will be calling on a world-wide embargo on sticky paper to drive Osama Bin Boo-Boo into the open to sate his paper addiction, which has been widely publicized. The State Department has raised the terror alert to "ORANGE TABBY" and the NSA has put out an all-points bulletin hoping to lead to the capture of Bin Boo-Boo and his cohorts Sheik Mohammed Al-Bin-Key, Usama Bin Boin-Gee, and Fatima Woo-Bay.